Thursday, December 1, 2011

Can't get this thing to do what I want

I wanted to copy from my files, and move them here.  I have already commited some of my thoughts to computer.  In retrospect, I should have used paper instead.  Spent enough time trying to move a file from my word program to here, I already wrote it once, just 'copy then paste.'  Only it comes across in program language, squares and backward E's and all manner of letters and symbles, unreadable, spent so much time trying to transfer the file in readable form, I could have been doing something constructive.  I already said I don't know much about computers.  The more I use this thing, the less I know.  I have three or four word programs, and not one of them will copy and paste to something a person could read.  Will print it though.  Maybe trying to tell me to give up, nothing interesting, or possibly trying to keep me from posting something embarassing, or worse, but still, I keep trying.  I was able to send one as an attachment that could be read, but now I haven't figured out how to attach the attachment and bring it here.  Good thing I have nothing better to do with my time.  Frustratung, it is, like the day I was going to connect my printer.  One of my printers, I have five of them.  I have printers that also scan, printers that FAX, printers that copy, and one printer that 'publishes documents to the web.'  Some do all this, some only print.  My newest printer is about ten years old.  Got one so big and bulky I can barly lift it, one so small, it's cute.  I disconnected my printer when I took my 'puter in to have it programed after I killed the hard drive, at least four years ago.  Sat here on my desk, I just didn't get around to hooking it up.  There were no driver's, I downloaded one off the net, printer won't print, I did this, I did that and I did the other thing, no print.  After (hate to admit this) eighteen hours, I uninstalled the driver, deleted the printer in control panel, reinstalled, and success!  Now it tells me to replace ink carts.  Up town I go, after paying sixty bucks for ink, it then tells 'printer not responding'!  More troubleshooting, more this, more that, more... I grabed the thing and wires dangling, tossed it into the trash.  I have other printers.  I can use one of them for sure.  The printer I threw away is ten years old, my newest, I couldn't find the power cord for one, one of them had an interface connection my computer just laughed at when I went to plug it in.  I gave up.  Two days, sixty dollars, I know when I'm in over my head, don't need no stinking printer!  I did need to go to Best Buy, to purchase a new card reader, fried mine the other day looking at memory cards of Linda's that I've been finding all over.  Walked up to the automatic doors, and entered, there, displayed right in front of me, first thing I saw of the store inventory, a printer, fax, copier, on sale $49.95!!!  And here all along, I thought I knew when I was in over my head, and knew when to stop.  My biggest problem?  I didn't bake the card reader first.

I have a microwave oven, it's so old, I think Moses used it on the Ark.  Works though, so I use it sometimes, like when I recently remodeled my kitchen.  The poor oven, it has issues, the lights dim for a moment when I start it, growls, buzzes and even shakes a bit when working.  Sometimes it doesn't tell me when it's finished, and occaisionally after setting the timer for, lets say four minutes, it will upon hitting the start button, advance the timer to forty minutes!  I know this, I watch the count down for a bit, if it doesnt advance after a couple of seconds, it's good to go.
One night, I poped a Marie Callender entre' into the box pushed the four minutes, started it, and walked away.  Four minutes is not a long time, just enough time for me to go do something while I wait.  Enough time for me to forget I even put something in the micro at all.  While puttering I smelled food, now I live close to town, and often smell steak or fish being prepared at a local restruant.  KFC not too far away, smell them also.  There is a taco truck across the street, and when the wind is just right I can enjoy the aroma of carne asada!  So I payed no attention to the smell of food, like I said, I forget sometimes.  Soon enough I detected the oder of fresh baked apple pie, still folding clothes, putting this here, moving that there, I suddenly remembered I had something in the oven, when the sweet smells of food turned into the stench of burned animal flesh, and plastic.  Quickly I rushed to the kitchen, and opening the oven door, the only way I know to stop the thing, out poured the blue, heavy smoke, made me cough a little, waving my hand and peering inside, I saw a lump of bubbling smoking black, it didn't resemble what I had placed inside, the plastic tray was even melted!  Four minutes is not a very long  time, but it took all the next day to air out the house, and considerably longer than four minutes to clean my oven.

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